Directions

Sometimes I feel wild inside,
With dark thoughts and wishes:
Holding back with all my might,
Things made worse by thinking.

With all these scars,
Perhaps I've changed too much:
Though I have done my best,
To dull at least my sharpest edges.

But there were times,
When by restraint my joy was lost:
And because of fear I did not sing,
At least when you were looking.

So I remained the stranger,
Even when you held my hand:
Hiding with my words,
The things I really wish I'd said.

I regret not risking more,
To save the love I've lost:
Waiting too long,
For fate to intervene.

I Loved you so deeply,
When we snuck away:
And we kissed that night,
On top of Serenity Hill.

Just know,
You pulled me through the darkest nights:
The crayon drawings I made for you,
Calmed the hell inside my head.

When I left,
I cried against the car window:
Giving up,
The beauty of what might have been.

I was not wise enough then,
Too young to understand:
The selfish way I begged,
That God would bring me back to you.

For many years after,
I thought I saw you:
Mistaking strangers from behind,
Because I couldn't forget your face.

What power your memory held,
And you are inspiration still:
Thanking all my lucky stars,
For all the ways our Summer changed me.